Well Hello Mother Nature..

Seriously F*** My Actual Life

So Im Guessin You Know Whats Happened From The Title Of This Post?!

Seriously why me?
why now?
why does life hate me?!

Agh So What the F am i suppose to do now?

Hes still on holidays so my plan now is to play it kool nd js act like i forgt..bt thats a hotel room gone to waste..
So its noy exactly a good plan..

Whatevs anyway..
I started using my wii fit again amd O.M.G i forgt hw much of an actual work out it is!

My body is killing..bt i have lost another lb :)

will tell you tmra for definite abwt whats happening

Countdown: 2 days
Weight loss: 3lbs
Emotion:Pee'd Off!

Remember-Your Not There Yet Bt Your Much Closer Today x

x :) x

I Dont Care Really...

Heyy
So Ive Decided To Go On Friday..
Im Convincing Myself That I Dont Care What Happens That I Hate Him And Im Not Even Going To Try And Look Good "For Him"

However I Find Myself With An Appointment On :
Monday For My Hair
Tuesday Getting My Nails Done
Wednesday Spray Tan
Thursday Facial, Eyebrows And Eyelashes
And
Friday-The Day

So Yeah Thats How Much I Obv "Do Not Care"
My Subconcious Is A Bitch

Anywho Atleast Ive Lost 2lbs Already :)
Agh Im So Scared And Him Being On Holiday In Zante With His "Boy Friends" Isnt Helping..
Im Not Normally Paro Bt I Find Myself Thinkin..'Is He Doing A Girl Out There'
(God Knows Theres Enough Skin On Show You'd Think Its A Butchers)..Then Hes Gta Come Back To Me..Fat Frumpy Me...I Didnt Even Care About Him 2 Seconds Ago..Hes Messed My Emotions Up...

Stupid Boy..
Stupid Me..
Stupid Fat..

Thank You For The Support :) You ado Make Me Smile And Thank God Noones Called Me Stupid Yet Lol

I'll Keep You Posted

Countdown-5Days
Loss-2lbs
Emotion-MindF****d

Remember-Been Called Anorexic Is Much Better Than Been Called A Fat Minger x

x :) x

Ohno...

Hey All :)

So I Got Good And Bad News..

Bt First Thank You To *Sarah* For Commenting :) Im So Glad It Was A Just A Nightmare Lol And Yeah I Move In On 10th July Soo Wish Me Luck :) x

Now Bad News First-
I Went Out With Friends Last Weekend..Ended Up Gettin So Drunk I Cant Even Remember Half Of The Night...Bt I Woke To A Text On My Phone Saying "Its Not A Good Time To Talk About Us As Your Drunk..Bt Ive Booked Hotel For The 1st July I Really Hope You Turn Up So We Can Talk..I Miss You X" And Yes That Os From Him..I Mustve Drunk Txt/Called N...FML

Good News-
Im Loosing Again :) I Finally After 6Months Got My Wii Fixed Too So Went On My Wii Fit And In 376Days(To Be Specific) Ive Lost 1Stone nd 3Lbs...Most Of It Prob After The Break Up But Still Im Down To 65Kg Again And Hopefully I Can Lose 1kg A Day..

So New Goal New Target New Motivation*
1Week-7kg-How? Water Diet..

I Cant Let Him See Me Fat
AGHH
How Do I Get Myself Into This?
I Find It So Hard To Restrict/Purge Around Him...Seriously Mia Abandons Me :(

Wish Me Luck Guys...Or Tell Me Im Stupid Either Way..Help I Dont Know How To Feel/What To Do x

*Remember-A Fat Person Is Big But Noone Notices Them*

x :) x

Ahhh! Im Moving Out!

O.M.F.G
Im Moving Out?!

Like No Seriously Ive Got A Room And Everything...
If You Knew How Scared I Am...
I Cant Be At Home Because They Feed Me Like Ima 5Year Old..
But Im Scared With Living With "Party Animal" Students..The Girls Seem Nice Tho...Hmm
Have Any Of You Moved Out And If You Have
-How Old Was You?
-What Was It Like?
-Am I Doing The Right Thing?

I Had A Dream Last Night
A Dream About My Life, I Married A Man Called Herbert (LOL) And I Was Pretty,I Was Happy, I Even Had A Little Family..
But
He Cheated On Me He Cheated On Me With Ana(yes that was her actual name)
He Left Me, I BrokeDown, I Wanted To Hurt Myself...I Woke Up In My Dream An I Was In The Hospital, All My Family Had Come To See Me, My Mum Spoke To Me And Said That She Doesnt See Why After Everything I Done I Still Want Attention..She Said Shes Had Enough And Didnt Want Anything To Do With Me..Obv I Was Baffled..I Asked Her What Happend I begged Her Not To Leave Me Alone
And she Turnt And Said
"I Dont Want To Leave You, You Left Us, Ana Took You And I Know Your Never Coming Back"
So It Was Me That Cheated It Was Me That Lost My Family To Ana...

It Makes No Sense As Im Bulimic-MIA Controls Me-I Mean I Control Mia

Actually I Dont Even Know Anymore...
Shes Gone And I Want Her Back..Whenever N Talks To Me She Disappears..
Should I Choose Love Or Mia?
Do I Even Have A Choice?
Do I Want To Not Choose Mia?

x :/ x

Dont Stereotype Me !

Heyyy Everyonee :)

First Up *Heyy* To The New Follower Thanks For Reading My Blog :) I'll Try Not To Bore You Too Much Lol

So what ive noticed recently is
1.my posts are too long
And
2.since i started loosing weight everything everyone and everywhere is talking about anorexia..its on tv, radio and internet haters are on the rise lol

What annoys me about this is people stereotype people with ED'S with 3 words THEY-DONT-EAT ! And apparantly we jus sit in our rooms like lazy hobos...

Like seriously could yu imagine hw easy it wud be if all we done was sit in our rooms..no worries/stress..no food and we was happy?!

If thats what ED's about then i dnt hv one! because:
-i do eat (binge even!)
-i exercise alot!! (4 mornings at bootcamp and every evening)
-im not happy that i have belly aches and i feel faint 24/7

I jus wish people would take that extra second to think..."You Know What Maybe Its Not Her Fault She Cant Eat..MAYBE ITS ANA/MIA TELLING HER SHES FAT 24/7..AND MAYBE SHE WANTS TO GET RID OF THIS 'DISEASE' BUT WOULD RATHER DIE TRYING THAN LIVE FAT!)

Jus Remember-Fat is Lazy..ED'S Are Self Control!

Fuck The Wanarexics !!

x :) x

Ermmm Where Are My Posts?!?!

RIGHT..... So im sure ive been posting likr everyday and ive just checked on my pc and theres nothing there...

Hmm..

Thats strange.. I guess im gna have to js do it again FUN TIMES o_O

ermm so i got a few things to talk about...lil catch up :P

Numero 1 im still loosing no weight...but im not gaining either so yaay bt naay at the same time.. :(

Numero 2 I joined a boot camp...6am start-3hours long-3times a week...now all i have to do is wake up :/

Numero 3 Im havin a super hard time finding a place to live and roomates that are normal...wish me luck plzz :)

Numero 4 Im a terrible human being for not commenting on your blogs for a few days..but i will do it right now because i love you like that :D !!

Numero 5 The Ex text me again...he said he saw me! and he said i look sexy Hmmm I was in the car and prob singing badly or dancing badly either way CRINGE XD Aghh i have to much pride to ever be with him but why is he sumhow getting to me... Hmmm i hate emotions

Anywhu...Enuff Nonesense Hope Your All (Yes all 3 of you :P ) Well And Beautiful x

Remember-Thin Is In Whoever Says Otherwise Is Usually Fat

x :) x

:( Oh Not A Good Day

FAILURE
Ok So...I Weighed Myself this Morning..147.6 Aghh!

What Annoys Me Is That Ive Been Between 146-148 For About A Week...My Metabolism Is STILL Spazing Out :(

Im Starting To Buy Size 10 Clothes Now Tho..Yaay Me :) But Seriously...Im Still Not Happy With All This Constant Weight!


MOVING ON
So Like I Told You Last Time I'm Moving Out...Spreading My Wings And Leaving The Nest Lol
I've Got A Viewing Today And Saturday So Hopefully I Can Move In By Next Month Because As Much As I Love Been At Home (!) Im Excited About Moving Out And Just Want To Move Out Now..!

Anyway Lovelies I Hope Your All Okay :)
Thank You For Your Support As Always

Remember-An Imperfect Body Reflect An Imperfect Person

x :) x

I Need You More Than You Know

So first of all you guys are awesome :) i really appreciate your support and comments it really means alot to me :) x

Now The Bad Stuff..
1. My No.1 enemy and i met today and he told me im weighing 146.6 i guess he was in a good mood :)

2. I have this stupid emotion called love that wont leave me alone and as i recieved a text from my ex today i got all silly..butterflies in my belly smiling to myself the whole lot..
Let me introduce you to 'The Ex' lets call him N
So N and i dated from the 16th May 2008 to 22nd November 2010 (isit weird that i know specifically?) so yes it has been about 7months since we broke up...if i was reading this id be like 'seriously get over it' so i know hw pathetic im being...there is a but tho...N is the one that got me into recovery during the 2and something years i put on 3stone..he made me feel happy he made me feel beautiful he made me love myself...and i honestly did love him with all my heart.

We're doing the same course in uni which means we had plans we had a future..we were practically settled and yes i am 19 but im stupid in love i believe in the fairytale ending and honest to god if the right guy came along and asked me to marry him right now then id be like HELL YEAH!! :)

Anyway...Back to reality...like i said we're doing the same course in uni

Are you readyfor the punchline?
The guy i love and absolutely cant get over is going to be in my class for the next 4years...now i dnt say this too often but literally FML!

And if your thinkin why not be together why did you break up?
Because he found someone better he found someone prettier,smarter and skinnier.

So the one person that made me better and happy and gave me a near to perfect life...is the same person that took it all away.

Sad Times...

But On A Lighter Happier Note
'Im Movin Out!!' :D
Yaay To Me Growing Up

Remember-You Only Fail If You Stop Trying x

x :) x

So i thought itd be a good idea to tell you a bit about moi :) 

im 19 i live in london and ive been diagnosed with bulimia...but my parents dont know because they ver rarely show intrest in anythin that has nothing to do with work..poor me :( lol jke i love it really i get to do whatever i want and no one notices..except mia.

Let me introduce you to a key character in my life...the beautiful love to hate Mia.

Shes my best friend..my enemy..the one i need but dont want...you could say we have a love hate relationship.

For one reason or another i cant seem to be able to purge recently..like wtf?! bt its mia punishing me because i put on 3lbs like a fat fat fatty lol so im using laxatives and doing a salt cleanse which i normally do 1 or the other but have now taken to doing both..fun times.

Let me jus point out-I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS TO ANYONE THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN GO A DAY WITHOUT EATING DOEA NOT MAKE YOU ANA...JUST REMEMBER YOU CANT BECOME OR CHOOSE TO BE ANA...SHE CHOOSES YOU.

So My Current Weight Is 67.8kg (Ergh)

My Lowest Weight Is 50kg

1st Goal-59kg-Prize Spray Tan

2nd Goal-52kg-Prize Bikini

3rd Goal-45kg-Prize New Boyfriend ;) 

Ultimate Goal-40kg-Prize Perfection <3

Remember-Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels x
Sent from Samsung Mobile

Well Hello Hello...

First Post :)
Ahh The Excitement!
Lol So Im Basically On A Mission To Loose Weight...But It Keeps Finding Me :(
From The Name You Can See That Yes Mia Is My Best Friend..My Enemy..The Voice In My Head That I Dont Want To Get Rid Of..Shes Everything And Nothing I Want ♥

Im Going To Document Everyday- For No Reason At All But I Hope You (Whoever Reads) Will Enjoy And Relate To Me

Don Not Post Negativity Because Im Telling You Now-I Do Not Care About Anything BUT Being Skinny And I Do Not Care How I Reach My Goal Weight My Body My Choice :)

Just Remember-Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit ♥

Talk Soon

x♥x