Saturday, 3 May 2014

What the fuck has my life come to..

I attempted to date.. :/
He shows up 30mins late in a tracksuit -_-

Chats up the girl taking our order, then goes on to tell me he was chatting her up  incase I didn't know..

Oh and at one point he called me a dick?! I think it was when he was telling me about how he'd slept with 3 people in 24 hours...
oh and there was something about a cow he reared that wouldn't eat so choked on solids and they had to step on it's belly and then went on to make noises in the middle of Nando's in case I didn't know what sound a cow made....

oh and did I mention he didn't even pay for me..? He just ordered his food chatted up the girl and walked back to the table.. :/

I don't have a clue how someone could act like that..I pulled the old "oh no my friends have an emergency I need to go..." trick lol

Hope everybody else is ok & doesn't have to deal with shit like this..
I've lost about a stone again, don't know why I allow myself to get this huge..

Back in size 12/14..down to working about 65 hours a week and having no time to eat...? Even though I work at a chinese restaurant! *High5 to me*


Thursday, 1 August 2013

Its hard

I fasted for a total of 66hours drank soo much water and have lost 1.6lbs :) I know I could've lost more but I weighed after I ate instead of before, mainly because my scales are messed up and keep messing with me saying 160lbs 165lbs until it finally showed me 170lbs like 10 times yesterday...
Aghh its hard my boyfriend is like why aren't you eating?
I said I ate at work and hes obviously shocked Im handling 5mins without stuffing my face he says hes worried...?
Like how am I supposed to do this if I cant even last 3days without someone forcing me to eat....

And I still haven't started my course and im still fat and im so annoyed I said I wouldn't allow myself and look at me now fat face chest belly bums & legs I hate it all .

I did buy my B6 & B12 though they are the only thing keeping me awake I want to sleep but instead im gonna do pilates and jumping jacks and crunches until 10pm so I can shower and hide my exercise evidence before the boyfriend gets home @ 11pm.

I was reading blogs I followed before and so much has changed most of you are gone some have sadly passed...but the ones that are still here and still going you are my motivation everyday and I will get down to my GW. No matter what.

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Im back

I dont know if anyone is still out there, im sorry I left.
Its been so long oh so long and yet shes back mia is back.
So much has changed I didn't think of her at all. Until today I want this fat gone! Im currently 170lbs ohh I feel sick just typing it thats just not what I expected...
I feel so sick I haven't eaten all day its come back so quick ive spent hours looking at thinspo I dont ever want to eat again...
My goal weight is 130lbs perfect weight 100lbs... it starts today.

Reading through my last posts make me cry but i need it it reminds me of hoq much I wanted it then and somehow old me has become an inspiration...

I missed you...♥

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Heyy ya'lll

Like omg i have no posted in so long im so sorry XD my life is sooooo busy

We have so much to catch up on

1)ive lost 5lbs :/ not because ive tried bt because im so busy i dnt really eat

2)theres no boy anymore :'( yes we tried again and yes he let me down again...he started been really mean and patronising and started talking to me like i was a twat...the worst thing was "i think yu need to start going gym again..."
C*&T!! aghh hes stressd me out but now that hes not around i can get bk on track :)

3)im back in contact with my best friend!! :)
Basically we stopped talking about 3years ago bcs of some sillyness but she ws my beat friend from wen we ws 11...she got back in contact with me and im so happy like i dnt need a bf right now shes the funniest person alive and i love her to bits BUT shes a size 6 (uk) like seriously im the fat friend :( i hate it so i need to do something about this lool its hard bcs shes tryna put on weight and im tryna really?! Lool but its kool we're gna meet half way 8st and a half :)

3) uni is foooookiiinnn hard !! Lool ive got so much work to do i gt 2 reports due in 2nd dec aghhh its too much stress like reli this is my week
Monday-friday: uni 9-5
2evenings: work 6-10pm
Sundays: work 9am-9:30pm
And then i try to go gym as much as possible and see my friends and family....i swear to god there isnt one day i cn sleep past 7am

But yu knw what im hoping to loose more weight
Im having "that time of the month" at the moment so i feel like shit

4) this is prob the worst for me
I miss sex!!! Looool
I havnt had any in like a month i swear i miss havin a bf :( life wudnt b as bad if i was still gtin some action bt theres a drought going on looooool

Anyway girlies i hope yur all doing much better than me
Love you all x

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Back On Track!! :)

Right so got my new laptop im not gonna be on my phone anymore so i can do actual posts.
i will post daily-ish lol

 i have a plan to get skinny again im upset that i cant seem to stick to my restricting im like doing good all day.. get home and eat like a starved child.

my motivation has more than gone its vanished, left, deserted to say the least because of uni my priorities are all over the place :(

im going gym monday-wednesday-friday but the boy goes with me (following..literally) and after about an hour and a half he wants to leave..i swear i could live there...

anyway because my restricting to max 1000calories my body keeps flactuating (if thats the tired)

so i have a new plan i literally just saw this on some website so im copying (cat) and going to give it a go

Day1:1000cal                                      Day2:400cal                  Day3: 300cal
Day4:400cal                                        Day5: 500cal                 Day6: 450cal
Day7: 650cal                                       Day8: 650cal                 Day9:400cal
Day10: 300ca                                      Day11:400cal                Day12: 500cal
Day13: 450cal                                     Day14: 650cal               Day15:700cal
Day16: 400cal                                     Day17: 300cal               Day18:400cal
Day19: 450cal                                     Day20: 500cal               Day21: 650cal
Day22: 700cal                                     Day23: 400cal               Day24: 300cal
Day25: 450cal                                     Day26: 500cal               Day27:450cal
Day28: 650cal                                     Day29: 700cal               Day30: 400cal

doesnt look too bad right?
i like that i have a guide because with my 1000max limit im like yhh its alright if i eat this...and this...and this...oh forget it..binge.

bad times

anyway i was at work today ll ill and dying of tonsalities(the throat thing) im literally like all looking dodgy and out of any day or anytime to come new sexy manager comes in :S why?!! why me??!! whyyyyyyy :'( he saw me all ill and dying and ahh he must thing im a hobo definetly lool

i saw him on facebook but i was like allow that ive met him like eager would i look seriously i need to stop my facebook stalking Ha!

anyway girlies i hope your all good :)
and healthy and skinny and Beautiful :)

love to you all


Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Im Sorry :/

What a horrible human being!!
im so sorry for been ghost but uni started and its been non stop :'(

im goin uni 9-4 everyday working 6-10 two evenings and 9-9 on sundays and gym whenevr possible...
Seriously im dead!!

been living off ProPlus and i was losing
I lost like 5lbs on that jenny craig bulls#%& but im so busy i was eating when i got in at night and too tired to refuse a everyday

Seriously what a tramp!
aghh i hate my weak self

But on a good note coming back on here and catching up with the lovely bloggers has made me relise that i should be no.1 in my priorities list....
Theres no point of living this hectic life fat!
Lool i chat s%&* i know but im high and waffleing

*i got some sexxxxyyyy new OMG i want to die when i see him like seriously the eyecandy is unbearable!! i want him in my bed NOW (slut) !!
*the boy asked me to move in with him?!! sorry what?!
yes he asked if we could move in together...ermm

*Weight Issues*
sexxy manager off till the 20th
CW-a disguisting 11st....err
'Realistic' GW-10st 5lbs
MY GW-9st 10lbs

A pound a day isnt impossible isit??
Neway my lovelies i shall be back very soon
Hope your all well And beautiful

Remeber-Saying No To That 'Snack' Is The Start To Something Beautiful!!


Thursday, 15 September 2011

Anotherrrr Diet?!

Hello My Lovelies :)

So been extremely busy because of uni starting !
Ahhhhh im excited
But scared lol

Anywayss il be fine finally im not gonna be at home eating like a *Fatty*

So i got some news ;)
And questions .....

Have any of you heard of the 'jenny craig' diet??
Basically its like diet chef they send all the things you need to eat pre packed pre cooked and ready to eat..
Its like super expensive literally i dont even want to say...
But you get a consultation, weight plan, your own 'councellor' and pretty much pointless things
Anyway jus wondering if any of you have tried it or know anyone that has becausr i hadnt eaten for like a week maybe and lost a WHOLE nothing........seriously i was upset :'(

so now that ive moved out my mum was like "hey you dont know how to cook why dont you try this" so i did
Plus the food packs are quite big like seriously its much more than what i eat now

So anyway lets see how i do and im sure a post will come up like "omg i love/hate this"


Wish me luck
And i hope all you girlies are staying strong and beautiful

*_-_-*Comment Replies*-_-_*

i took your advice its so easy to just say yeah i ate blah blah blah just gotta tell them what they wanna hear lol thanks hunnie x