For God Sake....

Ahh My Life Is Annoying Me...

So Im Like £900 overdraft
And my job try pay me £860 after i slave like f@#% for them?!

aghh im gna hav to live on my overdraft till my student loan comea through but how annoying seriously?!
My mother keeps calling me a tramp because im in debt..my own mother??

after i had to go overdraft because i paid HER bills...yet she no denies it and says that what kind of person am i asking her for money back?!

seen..
After all i was tryna do wss explain to her the reason why im overdraft..seriously why do parents never listen

Im so annoyed..i havnt eaten all day jus sippin on a coke now because i swear im gonna fall asleep at work

I dont even care if i have no money=no food=skinny me!

so its kool beans i guess..

Neway hes started stayin round now which means my attempts at trying to purge again are not gonna happen..

Mia's abandoned me :(
bt i dont care its better atleast now i dont binge now i can jus never eat and be happy :)

love you all

Remember-if foods the problem, eating is not the solution x

x :/ x

/#&%**#&&*

AGH...
im the fattest stupidest weakest person..
back to 67kg!!
aghh my clothes are tight my skin is horrid
I hate myself and this stupid fat

Why can i not stop eating
Why can i not say no
Why can i not be skinny

The boy makes her go away
Mia leaves me shes gone
I no longer feel hunger
I no longer feel belly aches
I no longer purge

And i hate it
Im full up all the time
That disguisting feeling of eating too much is all i feel

Mia please come back
Help me again
Help me be skinny
Help me take control again

Thinspo Be My Love Again...

Could i ever Be Happy, InLove And Skinny?

But Really Being Skinny Is Happiness And I Will Find Love So Sacrifices Have To Be Made I Will Be Skinny I Will Loose Min 4lbs A Week I Dnt Care Hw But I Will

* :/ *

Finally

So im sorry that ive been a ghost
X

But i finally moved in yaaay
Well i still hv to unpack bt yaay lool

The girls seem really nice and theyre on a 'diet' which they broke in like 5hours bt still theyre lack of self control helps me carry on my war with this b*&%# of a weight

I havnt weighed myself im too scared
I had chinese today with him (he came round to help me move in) i ate as little as possible and filled up on diet coke..
Aghhhh i wna purge so badly bt i cant :'(

ive started to feel hunger again...that satisfing feeling of been empty and knowing that my bodys eating itself..

Ive been really lightheaded lately too bt i think its cs i dnt eat and just smoke which this may sound weird but i love feeling like this...i like knowing that my bodys struggling because then it will use more fat as energy.

He noticed my weightloss he called me beautiful he hugs me and holds me...he actually can wrap his arms around me now...lool

I will weigh myself tmro and let you know hw badly :( ive been

Remember-only a strong willed person can be beautiful x

x :) x

Atleast Im Loosing Weight Right?

So...
I havent posted in a few days
Terrible person yes
Good excuse? kinda..

Lol ok so we've met up 2times again..already? Yes..

We Went cinema nd watched hangover 2..well tried to he kept stroking my arms..my legs...kissing me and omg the tension ws unbearable...
No we didnt hav sex in the cinema !

But we wanted eachova and even the next day we planned and booked hotel again for the 22nd which is years away...

So we met up in my lunch hour..went back to mine and o.m.g i didnt want to go back lol

There is some romance to this by the way lol
He rode his bike to my house nd wen i had to go back i drove back...he text me sayin im mean bcs i didnt giv him a kiss goodbye :(

and i did feel terrible bt he rode all the way to my workplace jus for a kiss...and it wa raining so much

Aww lool

Anway hes started calling me bbe and txtin me alot...hes really getting to me

I know i never stopped loving him bt he doesnt know that..
I cant tell him yet im still been the mean bitch to him-which may i add he seems to like more..

Well atleast im loosing weight all this "exercise" ive lost another lb :)

i love hw he makes me feel sexy and wanted
But
I miss mia..shes gne..
I actually looked in the mirror and tricked myself into thinking i look good...
I still need to loose..im not there yet
I jus hope i can start purging again

Remember-Love Is Blind It Tricks Us By Makin Us Happy To Jus Break Us x

x :) x

Lol My Life Is Jokess

Hello Hello :)
How is everyone :)

Joke I Know What Your Waitin To Read...why have i gone weird...omg im actually scared to tell you lol

(Slapped Myself)

Ok so i text him saying i had to cancel because i cant stay out...he replied saying thats its ok bt if i cnt stay out do i wna go cinema with him..nd blah blah blah....
I said yes
Took me 2 hours to get ready
I tried on every item of clothing i own
Told my mother a lie and off i went
Ofcourse i was fashionably late..

I got to the cinema and there he was..
Much skinnier but buffer than before..hes obv been working out
and hes tanned...burnt even

I dnt kno hw to say hello so i joke saying why is HE late
He tries to hug me nd i walk on..what a bitch..

It wasnt too bad as we ws in the dark couldnt talk couldnt see each other...he did whisper nd kept tickling me (like wtf am i 5?!) he ws funny tho

He sent me a txt half way thru the film saying we shud stil go hotel...
I say yes bt that i needed to go hme nd get stuff

Film finished
I went home
Met him at hotel

Wasnt as awkward as i thought it would be..
I asked for a drink and looked out the window as i didnt kno wat else to do
He came behind me, hugged me, turnt me around nd kissed me

At that momemt i realised how much i missed his lips his way of kissing me the way he slightly bites my lip
My heart was goin mad...the butterflies in my belly were crazy.

I missed him
I dont hate him
He missed me
He wanted me

And i let him have me...

Oh how i wanted to tell him i still love him..
He kept telling me im beautiful..
He kept kissing me and holding me and looking at me...
Touching my body and telling me he wants me again

And i let him again..and again

We woke up in each others arms
He said im the most beautiful girl in the world..
I didnt want that moment to end

Bt i had to leave i had work at 11..
he begged me not to go he held me and kissed me again

I dropped him home and went work he txt me saying he wants to see me again..i said maybe we spoke all day abwt anything nd everything

And hes just text me sayin 'Im Joking I Luv Yu reli xxxx'

I text bk "luv yu xxx"

And i think i really really do

x :/ x

Hahsudbdvgsjdk

Like The Title Says..Im Feeling So Messed Up Right Now

Like Today Is The Day
The Day
The ACTUAL Day

Omg So I Was Gna Cancel
Then He Text Me..
9am-"hey so i just got back from holiday..we stil meetin tonight? x"

Agh
1) Why Txt Me That Early?! Yes I Was Up Anyway But He Didnt Kno Lol
2)He Text Me As Soon As He Got Off The Plane..Eager Beaver
3)Why Did He Remember?!

I Talk S#*@ I Know Bt Im Jus Adj'd!!

OmgOmgOmg
Well I Lost Anothee lb which ia good/ish..nt enought bt im kool with that :)

countdown:0days!! Todays The Day!!
weight loss:4lbs
Emotion:whahsjsbswh...literally!

x :) x