as i lay here with the love of my life next to me i should feel perfect
but
as i lay here with the love of my life next to me i dont feel happy or perfect
i want to get up and purge
i want to take laxatives and hurt
i want to weigh 65kg before i go sleep
but
the only thing i want to do is get up and eat to stop my belly rumbling
the only thing i want to do is get up and not care about eating late
but
the only thing i can to do is lay here, hungry pretending to be happy and perfect...
x :( x
aww girly this broke my little heart :( I can elate so much... sometimes I think it's crazy that my bf can't see the pain that shines out through my eyes :/ who knows, maybe he can. he is being supper supportive or me losing weight and what not. I hope that your hurt can slowly find a way to dissipate. Just try and focus on your bf and how much he loves you and how much you love him. I'm struggling to do this healthy as well. I need to stop abusing laxatives... and I need to feel inside me that I will never purge again... but I know that It will eventually happen.
ReplyDeleteJust remember that you're not alone though any of this.
We all love you so much
xoxoxox <3
One Day you will be happy and perfect!
ReplyDeleteYou will.
You must be strong.
I'm with you.
xoxoxo
Ohh love. You WILL have all these things that you want, and you WILL be happy! Just hang in there. Thanks for all your support. <3
ReplyDelete